Not a reason
by 34flyingwaffles
Summary: Ukitake gets A virus that causes him to be kidnapped by pre-dessertion Aizen and turns out Shunsui's got a few anger issues. Boy x boy fluff. Not a lemon. Shunsui x Ukitake.


**Hi People! I had a request from a friend to write a yaoi pairing and I'm not really good with romance so I wrote this really depressing story for old friends ^.^ BLEACH IS THE AMAZING WORK OF TITE KUBO AND NOT ME NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH FOR CHARACTERS** **DUH DUH DUH... WE PRESENT MY DEPRESSING FANFICTION**

I looked at the water. My face shivered in it's cold reflection. I wondered if it really was the pond's rippling surface or just my fragile frame. The carp swam serenely through the water. It was not usually this cold in the soul society. The water seemed like ice against my fingertips. I lifted my head and saw that it had become quite late. I must go back to the office to finish my work so I wouldn't have to worry about my third seats fighting over it. I smiled. They really tended to outdo themselves to the point of not actually helping that much. I sighed and stood up.

...^-^...

I knocked at the office door. There was no reply. I pushed open the door and peered around the corner. A mess of white hair lay sprawled across the desk. I rushed forward and shook him. Worry flashed across my face. A sleepy eye opened and he sat up with a cough. I asked him if he was okay and he simply nodded. I looked at him closely. He had dark rims to his eyes and a small frown played across his lips. That was not normal. I asked him what was wrong but he continued to assure me that he was fine.

"Baka" I shouted, "You are not fine!"

He looked startled and opened his mouth to speak. All that came out though wash a spatter of blood and a coughing noise. He doubled over, coughing. Sinking to his knees with his hand covering his mouth. I didn't even think. I scooped him up and in a flash step was at the fourth. She took one glance at his still coughing body and in an instant the division was bustling with people dragging him away on a stretcher. I started to follow but a young woman told me that the infirmary was closed to visitors at such an hour and Unohana would be needing space to tend to him. I opened my mouth then shut it abruptly. Turning dramatically out the door. I walked slowly back to the barracks.

Nanao was just leaving as I arrived and seemed in quite the bad mood. I walked towards her and out of the corner of my eye i noticed her hand tighten around her book. I just kept walking though. Didn't even smile. Just walked on. I felt a flicker of surprise in reitsu. You don't spend the length of time as a captain that I did and not notice something like that but I didn't care. Nothing mattered but the expression on Unohana's face when she saw him. The fear. Nothing mattered but how he crumpled when I lost my temper. Falling into a pool of clothing and bones and white hair. Nothing but the anger I felt at the way they held me away. I passed the barracks and made a sharp turn. Nothing but the way the red shone with an evil glint against the snowy white of his hair. Nothing but the fact that it was my fault. 'No it wasn't, you found him like that' a voice in my head said. I knew it was wrong. It was my fault. I saw the place ahead. A rukon bar. I hesitated for a moment. I know it would be bad to drown my fear but I decided not to care. It didn't matter. I walked in and sat down. People stared. I forgot that i was wearing my captains uniform still. Not on the list of things I cared about though.

...^-^...

Voices. Everywhere. Drowning me. My eyes could only focus on the bloodstained hands in front of me. My throat felt thin and dry. Why was I here? Where was I? What happened? All I remembered was Shunsui's angry face. No there was something that happened before that. I felt a pain in my jaw but that wasn't the most unsusual. I felt a touch on my shoulder but it was distant.

Icy hands tore at my skin. Teeth gnawed at my bones and claws pricked at my nerves. A distant voice echoed in my my mind straining my muscles. Laughter. Cold laughter echoed. Now I know your secrets a robotic voice screeched in my ear. I screamed but it was silent. My bloody hands were a bloody smile and my entire body seemed to split in two. I was sitting in a dark room. 'Regret' flashed across the wall in white characters. A man with black hair and painful memories ran towards me. He smiled a happy smile but every step he took towards me it stretched back into his head. Tentacles shot out of his body.

"Hey _Taicho!_ I'm still alive ya know" it screeched.

I fell forward as his blade pierced me before I could react. Again he ran towards me and I was standing again. It repeated hundreds of times till I pierced him. A man not a monster hung from my blade though. I felt Rukia's pain.

"She will fight me again" the man said as if reading my mind before disintegrating into glowing dust. I was standing again and surrounded by hollows. The challenges wore on and on. My body was torn by fear and guilt. I could barely stand.

...^-^...

I opened my eyes. Grass and dirt. Trees. A forest. My eyes hurt and I had a headache but I ignored it. I headed back to the barracks. In the division people turned heads at me walking at this early time and not being drunk while doing so. I myself wondered what I was doing but I walked with more confidence then since I had left the academy.

I headed to the fourth. A healer 'informed' me that i 'was not to enter' but i really wasn't in the mood to give a fuck. I pushed them aside and kept going. Even if Unohana herself tried to stop me i was gonna see him. I pushed open the door that had traces of his reitsu and was hit by the full on force of a senior captain's spirit energy. He was twisting writhing on the hospital bed. A silent scream smacked across his face and his bloodstained hands left red streaks ripping at his hair. I froze in shock. My body rushed to his side. I gripped his wrist and he struck out at me but it was feeble. A Figure appeared in the doorway. She said something but I didn't hear her. Unohana gripped my wrist.

"I demand to know why you barged into my patients room and knocked most of my division out cold Kyoraku-taicho!" She yelled at me. Everything went black.

**I hope that wasn't too depressing o.o I have a hard time writing happy stuff. I am finishing this fanfiction quickly so I can continue writing my other ones.**


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